Foster High School Graduation

The most diverse school district in the country
African-American, Argentinian, Bhutanese, Black, Bosnian, Ethiopian, Hmong, Mexican, Mixed, Samoan, Somali, Vietnamese, White
All have sat in my blue Ikea couch chair.
The loudspeaker warbles the words of the commencement speaker, the daughter of a Bosnian refugee:
We represent the unity of the world

When the principal leads the pledge of allegiance,
I am the only one in my section of the bleachers who knows the words.
But even without reciting it,
they understand the dream, the promise of
liberty and justice for all
because today, their daughter is the first from their family to graduate high school.
This is what they have worked for, yearned for -
for their next generation.

Today they celebrate with
tears,
Congrats Grad! balloons (some float up and away during the ceremony),
layers of peanut butter cup and bubble gum candy leis,
an out-of-tune performance of Pomp and Circumstance,
new high heel shoes,
posters plastered with computer print-out pictures of their grad,
yells and screams and chants
that are occasionally drowned out by the airplanes passing overhead -
this is the town that neighbors SeaTac airport -
where some first arrived from their country,
where others will never walk onto a plane.

For almost every student who proudly hoists up their diploma,
there is one who has not, who will not.

I know both their stories.
She had a baby April, came back to school and finished all her missing work.
He struggled with depression and in the end, could not make it out of bed to come to school.
He won a turn-around scholarship, raising a 0.4 GPA to a 3.4 GPA in two years.
She was suspended three weeks before the end of school for marijuana possession and never came back.
She stayed on the honor roll after her parents kicked her out and she couched surfed with friends.
He got his girlfriend pregnant and left school to start working for diaper money.

Today with their families
we celebrate the victories
the sacrifices
the future plans
the diversity,
and work and yearn for those who are absent.

(The pictures are from 2012 because my 2013 graduation pictures did not turn out as well)

Summit: Mt. St. Helens

Last weekend, in honor of Mother's Day, I climbed to the summit of Mt. St. Helens wearing a dress. It's part of a tradition originating in the late '80's that both men and women participate in. I got my dress at a thrift shop the day before the hike, but full disclosure, I didn't actually wear it for the entire climb. It was so hot after the first mile, that my hiking companions and I all took off our dresses and did not put them on again until the summit.

I went with five other lady friends, and it was a long, steady climb: we ascended 4,500 feet over about 5 miles to reach the summit at 8,365 feet. (Prior to the 1980 explosion, the summit as 9,677 ft!) It took us a little under 6 hours to get to the top, and then only 2.5 hours to come down because we glissaded, or slid down a snow trail on our butts. This awesome youtube video that shows exactly what we did and gives you a great flavor for glissading. It basically makes you feel like you are on a large adult playground.

At the summit, we couldn't get too close to the edge of the crater because the snow cornices could give way at any moment, but I did get close enough to snap this picture that captures the dramatic gap in the mountain where the whole thing gave way in 1980. Notice the small mound at the bottom where a new "summit" is forming. If you zoom in enough, you can see the steam. That's Mt. Rainier off to the far right!

It is amazing to be a part of nature that feels so alive. It's a double bonus to do it in honor of mothers everywhere. I LOVE MY MOM!

More pictures from our climb are here: 

Before and After

P.S. Today is actually the 33rd anniversary of the explosion of Mt. St. Helens! In discussing my climb, I learned that two of my friends were actually conceived on this day: truly an historic moment. 

Come to Uganda with me!

Suzy Gillies, founder of APF

Jewelry - hand-made by Ugandan women from recycled paper - at one of the house parties I threw last year.

I am co-leading a service learning trip to Uganda this August 12th-26th, and we are still looking for a few enthusiastic volunteers!

Over a year ago, a friend introduced me to Suzy Gillies, a Mormon mom of five and founder of African Promise Foundation, an organization devoted to helping women and children in Uganda. I became involved with the organization by doing house parties to sell their hand-made Ugandan jewelry, and then I got invited to be on the board.

In addition to selling jewelry, every year Suzy leads a trip to Uganda that is part service and part cultural exposure.

There are ten volunteers signed up so far, and we still have room for two more! At this point, it's an all-girls trip with ages ranging from 13 to 44, but men are welcome too.

Here are the details:

DATE: August 12-26, 2013

COST: $1,800 plus air fare. (Trip fees over lodging, food, ground transportation, supplies)

WHERE: various locations in Northern Uganda

See more details in the link below, and let me know if you are interested or have any questions. Please spread the word!

http://africanpromisefoundation.org/go-to-uganda/

on bookstores

I snapped this picture of a quote hanging on the wall of my favorite Seattle bookstore, The Elliott Bay Book Co. It's so beautifully accurate.

After taking the picture, my two girlfriends and I wandered around the store, primarily between the women's studies section and the greek mythology section. We examined various titles, thumbed pages, read passages out loud to each other and debated their meaning. As Jane so elegantly put it, leaving was hard:
 

“Leaving any bookstore is hard, especially on a day in August, when the street outside burns and glares, and the books inside are cool and crisp to the touch; especially on a day in January, when the wind is blowing, the ice is treacherous, and the books inside seem to gather together in colorful warmth. It's hard to leave a bookstore any day of the year, though, because a bookstore is one of the few places where all the cantankerous, conflicting, alluring voices of the world co-exist in peace and order and the avid reader is as free as a person can possibly be, because she is free to choose among them.”

Inocente

My favorite moment in the Oscars was when Inocente won for best short documentary. Inocente is the name of a homeless, undocumented, teenager living in San Diego. She is also an artist. The film shows how she has used her creativity to bring a measure of joy into life. She fills her life with color: on her clothes, on her canvases and even on her face. Creating is what makes her resilient.

The film moved and inspired me, and I choked up when she appeared on the Oscar stage with the co-directors of the film. She was crying, and one of the directors, Sean Fine, said:

“We want to thank this young lady who was homeless just a year ago and now she’s standing in front of all of you. She’s an artist and all of you are artists and we feel like we need to start supporting the arts. They’re dying in our communities. And all of us artists, we need to stand up and help girls like her be seen and heard. It’s so important. Thank you.”

I wanted to shout amen to his plea for the arts. Our ability to create - art, food, music, dance, crafts, space, words - is part of our divinity. Tapping into that creative power is healing. It's empowering. It's spiritual.

Inocente's story makes me want to create and build and express more. I find a lot of joy in experiencing others' creative powers, but I would like to spend more time tapping into my own. Like Inocente, let's change our lives and the world through art!

P.S. You can watch Inocente's film on itunes.

P&R

 

I've been in a pretty good mood for most of 2013, and I've been trying to figure out why. It could be that I've been taking 5,000 IUs of Vitamin D every day or that I've started a new work-out routine. But I think the real cause of my bliss is this: I've been watching episode after episode of the comedy sitcom Parks and Recreation.

For those of you who haven't seen it, it's like a combination of Thirty Rock and The Office, but the context is a local government office. And it's better. However, I recommend that you start watching from the beginning of season one or two because the background on the characters make the current episodes far more enjoyable.

It takes me longer than 22 minutes to watch each episode because I laugh so loudly and for so long that I have to keep pausing it so that I don't miss what happens next. 

I love the juxtaposition of Leslie's earnest, idealistic view of government with Ron Swanson's disdain for it. (Ron is single-handedly softening my view of Libertarians.) I love that Leslie's office is covered with pictures of her female political heroines: Eleanor Roosevelt, Sandra Day O'Connor, Madeleine Albright and Nancy Pelosi. I love all the askance glances at the camera, the improvised monologues, the short scenes after the credits, and especially, ESPECIALLY, Ben and Leslie's love story.

Some days I have to remind myself that I don't actually live in Pawnee, Indiana and that I can't actually go on a lunch date with Leslie Knope. I knew that things were getting bad when I was hanging out one Friday night with a friend, and all I could think about was when I could go home to watch another episode. Some nights, I get too busy or too tired to watch even one short episode, and I start to feel homesick for Pawnee and my friends there.

I just finished season 3, and frankly, I'm a little worried about what is going to happen to my mood when I am all caught up with season 5, and I have no more to watch. Road trip to Indiana anyone? 

Year in Review: Weddings

I attended 5 weddings in 2012 and was "in" four of them. My co-workers kept making jokes about the movie 27 Dresses. I guess that means only 23 more bridesmaid outfits to go until I get to star in my own romantic comedy!

That would be fine with me because I love weddings. I love the rituals, the colors, the toasts, the tears and especially the dancing. I love watching people I care about be cherished and adored by someone they cherish and adore.  I love celebrating the creation of a new family and the miracle of a good match. Here's to even more people finding true love in 2013!

Jenny Corry and Eric Smith

March 10, 2012

American Fork, Utah

 

 

 A long time ago, Jenny and I both loved, and were then spurned by, the same man, and even though we have never lived in the same city, we have always had a special bond. Her girlfriends and I had a particularly good time on the dance floor.

Laney McClain and Josh Armstrong 

April 5, 2012

Oakland, CA

Laney and I both started graduate school at UW four years ago and quickly became inseparable. She was my best Seattle friend until she graduated and took her dream job back in her hometown of Oakland -- where she met her one true love. I still miss her.

Jane Lilly and Ramon Lopez

June 30, 2012

San Diego, CA

Jane and I met almost 12 years ago when we were both college undergrads, and since then we have stayed close and grown closer. One of our most tender moments together was when she invited me to be in the bride's room in the temple with her to help her get ready for her grand exit. It was also special to have her reception and ring ceremony in my parents' back yard.

Kai Carter and Mandi Burton

August 18, 2012

Idaho Fall, ID

 

I met Kai when when both of our families moved to Batesville, Indiana; he was 5 years old, I was 8. Our families have been like family to each other for the past twenty plus years. I came to the wedding as the emissary for the entire Nuckols family who all love and celebrate Kai and his awesome life partner.

Steven Nuckols and Brenna Davidson

December 28, 2012

San Diego, CA

That's my baby brother! He's all grown up now and he made a great choice. Their wedding celebration was both elegant and fun. It was a treat to be in the wedding the party with both of my other brothers and Brenna's siblings too.

A House Divided

Just like brothers who fought against brothers in the Civil War, Election 2012 divided the Nuckols family. Evenly. While I was the most outspoken of the Obama supporters in the family, Jeffrey led the conservative faction with his inside scoop from the Romney campaign.

First, Jeffrey appeared in a picture on cbsnews.com under the headline:

"Romney supporters drown out David Axelrod at Boston press conference."

He said that it was a blast. I was not amused.

Then, I was quoted in the USA Today as a pro-Obama Mormon. (Link to article here.)

The thrill of being quoted alongside Harry Reid and Joanna Brooks - two of my favorite Mormon Dems - made up for the ugly backlash in the comments section of the article.  

Next, I got wedding announcements from my two other brothers and posted this picture on facebook with the description: 

My brothers and their soul mates. Sorry, Jeff, Mitt is not going up on the fridge.

One of my conservative friends who saw this post started an actual online petition called 

Get Mitt On The Fridge!

Jeff must have been too busy campaigning for something else, however, 

because his petition only got two signatures.

The week of the election, I saw this display in the window of a Seattle used book store.

They seem intended as a contrast, but in reality, 

they are such excellent complements!

 

I had a party on election night with all-American pizza, root beer floats
and these awesome cookies from Whole Foods.
I invited all to come to this "bi-partisan celebration of our voting freedoms," 
 but surprisingly, only one Romney supporter came.

I tried hard not to gloat too much on election night,
and I decided to freeze a Romney cookie for Jeffrey.
 I gave it to him over Thanksgiving, and he graciously accepted the peace offering.

(If anyone wants to have a more serious discussion about my views on Romney, the Republican party and being a Mormon Democrat, I would be happy to talk off line!)

Nuckols Name Survival Kit

My two new sister-in-laws are both taking on my brothers' name. That means that they are now going to have to interface with the world as a Nuckols.  Jeffrey and I wanted to prepare them for this daunting task, so for Christmas we gave them each a Nuckols Name Survival Kit. We decided that while we can't prepare them for all the mispronunciations and misspellings, we can prepare them for the array of bad jokes that they will hear for the rest of their lives.

Brass Knuckles

When people ask you if you own a pair of brass knuckles, you can tell them that you have this beautiful necklace, but that real brass knuckles are illegal in all 50 states. Then point out the irony that in America: brass knuckles = illegal; semi-automatic guns = legal.

Knuckles Sandwhich

When someone asks you how many knuckle sandwiches you have delivered (administered?), I recommend that you look menacingly at them and say, "I lost count." However, the sad reality is that I do not know of a single Nuckols who has actually delivered a knuckles sandwich - not to mention a roundhouse one. It is a shame, really. We invite you to be the first to remedy this lack of honor to our name.

Knuckles, the Echinda

I still have no idea what an "echinda" is, and I have neither watched nor played Sonic the Hedgehog, but when people ask me about this Knuckles character, I just smile and say, "Yep! Just like him" because that seems to be what people want to hear. Apparently he is pretty hard core, so I am OK with that.

Knuckleheads

This book is brilliant because all the characters are made out of body parts, and you can see that "Handsel" and Gretel in the top left corner literally have heads that are made out of knuckles. Be prepared to congratulate people on their cleverness whenever they think that they are the first person to ever call you a knucklehead.

The Nuckols hoodie

For months I had been planning this dramatic moment where I would be wearing my hoodie on Christmas morning and then the two sister-in-laws would open up theirs and we would take a picture of the three of us together. I had their hoodies express mailed to the house, and then I forgot mine in Seattle. Boo.

But to B and S: I hope that you wear both the hoodie and the name with pride and remember that even with all the bad jokes and constant spelling corrections, it's a pretty rad name. (I promise that your kids will really love it too.) We're glad to have you. Welcome to the Nuckols/Knuckles/Buckles/Nichols/Nuchols/Noockols clan!

too much joy

 

I was home for Christmas for 10 days, and I cried every day that I was home. Well, to say I "cried," might be an overstatement. I wasn't exactly wiping away tears, but I definitely "teared up" or "welled up" at least once a day. Celebrating Christmas and a large family wedding (good job, Steve) while having all 4 Nuckols kids home for the first time in 7 years plus the addition of two new sister-in-laws was just too much joy.

I cried when...

...we sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" at our annual friends and family cinnamon roll brunch.
...we went around the family room and told stories of service and sacrifice for family home evening.
...Uncle John and Aunt Holly gave the two new couples crystal candlesticks along with small adorning Norwegian wreaths and a speech about the importance, value and beauty of the table. 
...Mom gave each of us 4 kids a binder on Christmas morning with all our family Christmas cards and pictures dating from 1982 until the present.
...Ryan and Swantje cried at the Christmas dinner table saying how much it meant to them to finally be with family during the holidays after seven years of holiday hotel work.
...I watched Brenna and Steven grow up and then fall in love in their wedding slideshow.
...AJ, Steven's best man, gave his toast at the rehearsal dinner about how he knew how much Steven loved Brenna.
...I hugged Brenna and Steven after the sealing in the temple.
...my mom cried the entire time she danced with Steven during their first dance at the reception. 
...I watched Les Mis. Duh.
...I said good-bye to Ryan and Swantje at the airport. 

The number of times I cried during those 10 days were far outnumbered by the number of times I laughed.

We laughed when we saw Jeffrey's ballet leap in the above family picture on the beach.
We laughed about all sleeping in the same room together on Christmas Eve.
We laughed when Brenna said "Christmas Steven" instead of "Christmas Season."
We laughed every time someone quoted a line from Elf.
We laughed when a woman in the aisle of Target asked us if we were a college comedy troupe.
Jeffrey and I laughed when, the day after the wedding, we drove around in Steven and Brenna's decorated get-away car and I wore Brenna's veil.

It was too date the best Christmas steven ever.