Monday, December 20, 2010

A Grown-Up Christmas


I was going to become an adult this Christmas.

I was going to buy and hang Christmas lights on the outside of my house.

I purchased a $10 box of icicle lights from Walgreens three weeks ago, and since then there has not been one day when I have been home when it was still light out, and not not one night when I have been home when it wasn't raining. (No offense, Seattle. I still love you.)

Finally this afternoon, my home teachers came over with a ladder. It was too short. Knowing that there are no exterior plugs around the house, I had previously purchased a little socket thing that screws into the flood light. It did not conduct electricity at all. I am leaving to go home in two days anyway, so I gave up my three-week battle, thanked my home teachers, and cursed the Grinch for trying to keep Christmas from coming to my little house.

The bigger disappointment is that I did not get to claim this rite of passage. There have been many moments in the past decade when I have thought, "Ah Ha! Now I am an adult!" For example, I had that thought the first time I:
  • Drove a 15-passenger van full of teenage girls
  • Bought a toaster oven
  • Filled out my own tax return form
  • Drove a drunken undergrad to the ER 
  • Used my ID to get into a club
  • Received a Christmas card that was addressed just to me
  • Signed a lease
  • Bought lingerie for a friend's bridal shower
While those activities did make me feel very grown up, this Christmas light endeavor was particularly exciting to me. For the first time, I have a sense that where I live is (semi-) permanent and I want to invest in it. That seems very adult. So does wanting to contribute to the overall aesthetic of my neighborhood.

There is also something that feels very "old" in taking over a tradition that used to belong exclusively to my parents; my dad has always put up the exterior lights for our family. Overall it feels grown-up to try to create Christmas where I live and not just wait to experience Christmas until I go home to my parents' collection of music, decorations and lights. Like an adult, I am trying to own Christmas in my current home.

It looks like I will have to wait until next year to work out all the kinks so that I can finally hang up my exterior lights. Then I will be able to say, "Ah Ha! Now I am an adult!" one more time.