A House Divided

Just like brothers who fought against brothers in the Civil War, Election 2012 divided the Nuckols family. Evenly. While I was the most outspoken of the Obama supporters in the family, Jeffrey led the conservative faction with his inside scoop from the Romney campaign.

First, Jeffrey appeared in a picture on cbsnews.com under the headline:

"Romney supporters drown out David Axelrod at Boston press conference."

He said that it was a blast. I was not amused.

Then, I was quoted in the USA Today as a pro-Obama Mormon. (Link to article here.)

The thrill of being quoted alongside Harry Reid and Joanna Brooks - two of my favorite Mormon Dems - made up for the ugly backlash in the comments section of the article.  

Next, I got wedding announcements from my two other brothers and posted this picture on facebook with the description: 

My brothers and their soul mates. Sorry, Jeff, Mitt is not going up on the fridge.

One of my conservative friends who saw this post started an actual online petition called 

Get Mitt On The Fridge!

Jeff must have been too busy campaigning for something else, however, 

because his petition only got two signatures.

The week of the election, I saw this display in the window of a Seattle used book store.

They seem intended as a contrast, but in reality, 

they are such excellent complements!

 

I had a party on election night with all-American pizza, root beer floats
and these awesome cookies from Whole Foods.
I invited all to come to this "bi-partisan celebration of our voting freedoms," 
 but surprisingly, only one Romney supporter came.

I tried hard not to gloat too much on election night,
and I decided to freeze a Romney cookie for Jeffrey.
 I gave it to him over Thanksgiving, and he graciously accepted the peace offering.

(If anyone wants to have a more serious discussion about my views on Romney, the Republican party and being a Mormon Democrat, I would be happy to talk off line!)

Nuckols Name Survival Kit

My two new sister-in-laws are both taking on my brothers' name. That means that they are now going to have to interface with the world as a Nuckols.  Jeffrey and I wanted to prepare them for this daunting task, so for Christmas we gave them each a Nuckols Name Survival Kit. We decided that while we can't prepare them for all the mispronunciations and misspellings, we can prepare them for the array of bad jokes that they will hear for the rest of their lives.

Brass Knuckles

When people ask you if you own a pair of brass knuckles, you can tell them that you have this beautiful necklace, but that real brass knuckles are illegal in all 50 states. Then point out the irony that in America: brass knuckles = illegal; semi-automatic guns = legal.

Knuckles Sandwhich

When someone asks you how many knuckle sandwiches you have delivered (administered?), I recommend that you look menacingly at them and say, "I lost count." However, the sad reality is that I do not know of a single Nuckols who has actually delivered a knuckles sandwich - not to mention a roundhouse one. It is a shame, really. We invite you to be the first to remedy this lack of honor to our name.

Knuckles, the Echinda

I still have no idea what an "echinda" is, and I have neither watched nor played Sonic the Hedgehog, but when people ask me about this Knuckles character, I just smile and say, "Yep! Just like him" because that seems to be what people want to hear. Apparently he is pretty hard core, so I am OK with that.

Knuckleheads

This book is brilliant because all the characters are made out of body parts, and you can see that "Handsel" and Gretel in the top left corner literally have heads that are made out of knuckles. Be prepared to congratulate people on their cleverness whenever they think that they are the first person to ever call you a knucklehead.

The Nuckols hoodie

For months I had been planning this dramatic moment where I would be wearing my hoodie on Christmas morning and then the two sister-in-laws would open up theirs and we would take a picture of the three of us together. I had their hoodies express mailed to the house, and then I forgot mine in Seattle. Boo.

But to B and S: I hope that you wear both the hoodie and the name with pride and remember that even with all the bad jokes and constant spelling corrections, it's a pretty rad name. (I promise that your kids will really love it too.) We're glad to have you. Welcome to the Nuckols/Knuckles/Buckles/Nichols/Nuchols/Noockols clan!

too much joy

 

I was home for Christmas for 10 days, and I cried every day that I was home. Well, to say I "cried," might be an overstatement. I wasn't exactly wiping away tears, but I definitely "teared up" or "welled up" at least once a day. Celebrating Christmas and a large family wedding (good job, Steve) while having all 4 Nuckols kids home for the first time in 7 years plus the addition of two new sister-in-laws was just too much joy.

I cried when...

...we sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" at our annual friends and family cinnamon roll brunch.
...we went around the family room and told stories of service and sacrifice for family home evening.
...Uncle John and Aunt Holly gave the two new couples crystal candlesticks along with small adorning Norwegian wreaths and a speech about the importance, value and beauty of the table. 
...Mom gave each of us 4 kids a binder on Christmas morning with all our family Christmas cards and pictures dating from 1982 until the present.
...Ryan and Swantje cried at the Christmas dinner table saying how much it meant to them to finally be with family during the holidays after seven years of holiday hotel work.
...I watched Brenna and Steven grow up and then fall in love in their wedding slideshow.
...AJ, Steven's best man, gave his toast at the rehearsal dinner about how he knew how much Steven loved Brenna.
...I hugged Brenna and Steven after the sealing in the temple.
...my mom cried the entire time she danced with Steven during their first dance at the reception. 
...I watched Les Mis. Duh.
...I said good-bye to Ryan and Swantje at the airport. 

The number of times I cried during those 10 days were far outnumbered by the number of times I laughed.

We laughed when we saw Jeffrey's ballet leap in the above family picture on the beach.
We laughed about all sleeping in the same room together on Christmas Eve.
We laughed when Brenna said "Christmas Steven" instead of "Christmas Season."
We laughed every time someone quoted a line from Elf.
We laughed when a woman in the aisle of Target asked us if we were a college comedy troupe.
Jeffrey and I laughed when, the day after the wedding, we drove around in Steven and Brenna's decorated get-away car and I wore Brenna's veil.

It was too date the best Christmas steven ever.

Victory on Rainier

More pictures here!

This post is old news, but I still wanted to document it here that on Tuesday, July 10th, I summited Mount Rainier!

The ascent was more stunning and beautiful than I expected. When we started from Camp Muir at 2 am, the night sky was perfectly clear and illuminated by a half a moon and thousands of stars. On one end of the horizon, I could see the tail end of a lightening storm. On the other end, the hints of sunrise. My first glimpse of the dramatic blue, white and green glaciers against this backdrop of night sky brought tears to my eyes. Majestic.

When I said, "This is so beautiful!," Michael yelled back, "Focus on what you're doing!" Oh brother. At least he let me drink water. 

We trudged along at a slow and steady pace and reached the summit in about 6 hours. Although I had a few waves of nausea near the top, the effects of the altitude weren't bad. I attribute that to the full day of rest we had had at Camp Muir.

On the steep parts on the way up - where we were practically scrambling on all fours - I kept thinking about how scary those parts were going to be on the way down. And they were. I would use my ice axe for stability, but the top of the snow was already slushy, and the risk of slipping either off the side of the earth or down into the center of the earth seemed very real.

The mountain felt so much like living, breathing, volatile organism. One of the crevasses we walked around on the way up had expanded about 10 feet during the day, so that on the way back, we had to take a new path over the top. We could see where our old path now led directly into the crevasse. On another part of the trail, a small avalanche had completely covered our original tracks. We scampered over it as quickly as we could in case there was more ice coming down.

When it was all finished and I was back home in my warm bed, I felt so grateful. Grateful that we had such perfect weather conditions. Grateful that none of us got altitude sickness. Grateful that my body could do this for me and enable me to have this experience. Grateful for the magnificence of God's creations. Grateful for my sometimes mean but helpful friends, Melissa and Michael, who guided me through months of training and then to the top. Grateful for the prayers and encouragement of friends and family. Grateful that everything came together so that this little dream could become a reality.

This is not the end of my mountaineering adventures. I am joining the Seattle Mountaineers club this winter, and my new long-term goal is to summit all the Cascade range volcanoes. On August 25th, we did Mt. Adams, the second tallest peak in Washington. Two down! I am especially eager to get back down to Mt. Shasta.

If you are interested in the Rainier chronology of events, here is how it all broke down:

WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DAY 1
Woke up at 4 am
Drove down to Rainier
Got the Ranger station at 7 am to buy permits
All the permits were gone for that night
Bought permits for the next night
Drove back home to Seattle
Slept
Ate
Slept

DAY 1
Woke up at 3 am
Drove down to Rainier
Hike up to Camp Muir, base camp
Arrived around 2 pm and set up camp
Fell asleep early
Awoke in the middle of the night to a hail and a lightening storm
(I have never felt so close to lightening ever in my life! It was awesome.)

DAY 2
Woke up at 8 am
Rested
Hung out around Muir and chatted up the other hikers
Flirted with the rangers
Ate a lot
Drank a lot
Peed a lot (so much that my hands starting cracking from all the hand sanitizer I used)
Played cards
Read
Prepared our rope

DAY 3
Woke up at 1 a.m.
Roped up
Started for the summit at 2 a.m.
Arrived at the summit around 8:30 a.m.
Pooped in the crater at the summit, visible to all
Got back down to Camp Muir around 1pm
Took naps
Packed up camp and started back down around 3 pm
Back down to the car at Paradise by 7 pm
Dinner
Home in Seattle by 11pm!

*I recognize that "to summit" is not technically a verb, but I really like it, so I use it anyway. 

Blueberries Everywhere

 A few weeks ago, my roommates and I went blueberry picking. 

Here are some of the results of our abundant harvest.

 

Blueberries rinsed and drying

 Blueberry, strawberry and banana smoothie

 Blueberry cobbler

 Blueberries in a spinach salad

 Blueberries on pancakes

 

Blueberries in pancakes

Blueberries in a fruit salad with nectarines

 

 Whole wheat oatmeal blueberry muffins

 

Blueberries adorning Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream

I still have 2 giant bags of frozen blueberries. 

What else should I make?

A Reluctant Tribute

I don't like Katy Perry.

I accidentally saw her in concert a few years ago at a Seattle music festival, and I couldn't dance or sing or sway with the music because I was immobilized by the horrible, sexualized display of modern pop.

Then about a month ago, I did a 200-mile running relay race with 12 girlfriends called RAGNAR. We each ran three different legs of the 2-day overnight race that took us from Blaine, Washington to Whidby Island.

My last leg was 6.4 miles up hard hills. I usually don't run with music, but since it was going to be such a long haul, I borrowed my friend's iPod nano and put it on shuffle.

When the song Firework came up, I felt my pace pick up. The afternoon sun was pushing back the clouds and from the top of the hill I had just crested, I had a sweeping view of the Puget Sound. When the song ended, I hit "back" and listened to it again. Then I listened to it again, this time pumping my arms at the "Oh, Oh, Oh" in the chorus and running even faster. Exhilarated by the song, the moment, the view, and the whole event, I yelled out, "I LOVE RUNNING!" Which is funny because I don't actually love running. (It is still unclear to me if I actually yelled out loud or if I was just yelling in my head.)

I kind of hate that Katy Perry is partly responsible for my moment of running ecstasy, but I'm not gonna to lie: I have listened to that song quite a few times since...even when I haven't been running.

This was my pass-off to my teammate Linda after I completed the joyful "Katy Perry leg" of the race.

Highlights of the XXX Olympiad

I am sad that the Olympics are over, yet it's also a relief. The sleep debt I have accumulated by staying up until the end of every primetime broadcast - and then watching even more clips online - was starting to have a negative effect on my health.

But I will miss emailing/texting/talking to my brothers almost every day about great Olympic moments, and I will miss having an excuse to go over to friends' houses almost every night. I organized an Olympics watching schedule for my group of friends so that we had different places to gather to watch together during the 17-day event.

We kicked off our rotation with an Opening Ceremonies party where I went as the 80's track star Flo Jo - colorful long fake nails included. (They made me want to rip my hands off.)

Here are some of my favorite moments from London 2012. I recognize that these reflect what I was able to experience through the tyranny of NBC, its producers and its commentators, but I willingly submitted to their attempts to manipulate my emotions, and I loved every minute of it. (NOTE: Unfortunately not all the video links capture the entirety of each moment that I describe.)

• Alex Morgan's winning goal in the 123rd minute of overtime in the semi-final game vs Canada.
• Manteo Mitchell running the first leg of the men's 4x400 relay with a broken leg.
• The swim team's Call Me Maybe lip synch video.
• Missy Franklin greeting her parents after the medal ceremony and asking her mom if she was wearing a new shirt.
• Aly Raisman starting to cry (min 1:40) before she finished her floor routine because she knew that it meant a team gold.
• Aly Raisman's parents in the stands.
• The sportsmanship shown in the bib exchange (min 3:30) on the track between Pistorius and Kirani James, the soon-to-be first gold medalist from Grenada.
• Serena Williams saying "it was probably flying to come hug me" when the US flag fell during her gold medal ceremony. 
• The look on wonder on Nathan Adrian's face when he won gold in the 100m free, and the shot of Lochte and Phelps cheering him on from back stage.
• The look on the judges' faces and the commentators' reaction when McKayla did her near perfect vault.
• Soni breaking the world record in her semi-final breaststroke race and then breaking it again the next day in the final. 
• Every time a Brit won a gold medal, especially when Andy Murray did it. He cried when he lost to Federer a month ago at Wimbledon. He cried when he beat him. (min 3:55)
• The defection of the Cameroonians.
• Carmelita Jeter pointing at the world record clock as she broke the world record and crossed the finished line in the women's 4x100m relay.
• The Target commercial showing kids getting accepted into college. It makes me tear up every time.
• The Coke commercial that made me feel great about every Diet Coke I have ever consumed.
• The Onion article mocking Andrea Kremer's horrible pool side interviews.
• Flint, Michigan's reception of their home star 17-year-old Clarerssa Shields, women's boxing gold medalist.
• Quote from our Closing Ceremonies party: "I can't tell who that is because he's wearing clothes. I only recognize him by his chest." 

Til Rio 2016...where you should keep your eyes out for me and my brother Jeffrey as the first ever co-ed synchronized swimming duo. We will be resurrecting a routine originally choreographed in a lake in the late '90's.

First Shasta Attempt

This was the weekend that my little hiking team (Michael, Melissa and I) had scheduled to climb Mt. Rainier. But at the last minute, plans changed.

SATURDAY:
Food and gear prep.
I try a new recipe to make my own granola bars.
I feel anxious all day thinking about the ranger who has just died on Rainier and about the horrible Rainier weather forecast.
At about 7pm, we decide to call it off because it looks like weather will be both miserable and risky.
Back up plan: Mt. Shasta in Northern California...where the weather is supposed to be lovely.

SUNDAY: 
10-hour drive to Shasta with beautiful views all the way down.
Note that the wind is blowing snow off the peak: the first sign of impending doom.

MONDAY:
We awake to see that a cloud has descended upon the entire mountain.
We start the climb up to Helen Lake - about half way to the summit - where we will camp for the night.
No one we pass who is coming down has been able to summit that day due to high winds.
As we climb, we see scary dark storm clouds following us up the mountain.
Once we reach Helen Lake at 10,400 ft, we dig a snow shelter for our tent.
It starts to snow.
We hunker down into our sleeping bags at about 4:30pm wearing every item of clothing we have brought with us including down coats, snow pants, wool hats and gloves.
It is too snowy and windy to melt and boil water for our dehydrated mountain meals, so we eat the rest of our snack food for dinner inside our tent: I had a cup of tuna.

 

TUESDAY: 

We awake to find that the inside of our summer tent is covered in snow: it came through the vents.

The water that was inside my Nalgene bottle that was inside the tent next to my head has turned to ice.

Outside the skies are perfectly clear, but the wind is still fierce.

In the fifth picture down, you can see the outline of Michael's body in his yellow tent as the wind squashes down his shelter.

We brace ourselves against the wind to melt some water to eat our dinners for breakfast and to melt the inside of our water bottles.

I wander along the camp to see how other campers fared the night and meet two men (7th picture down) who didn't have a tent but SPENT THE NIGHT IN THEIR BIVY SACKS!  

They said that they got warmer once the snow piled up on their bodies. 

After waiting a few cold hours for the wind to die down, we decide not to start the final ascent.

The wind is still whipping off the peak, we are too cold to wait it out any longer, and it is getting too late in the morning to start.  

No one who camped at Helen Lake attempted an ascent that day, but a small group of 3 who started further down the mountain earlier in the morning did. We don't know if they made it.
I was back home in my warm Seattle bed by 10pm that night.

NEXT RAINIER ATTEMPT:
July 7-10
And if weather is bad on Rainier that weekend, we will be going back down to Shasta!
I'm more excited than ever now to actually reach a 14,000+ summit.

Mothering Mothers

I am currently working with 5 teenage moms and 2 pregnant ones. It's my favorite part of my job.

We meet one-on-one, but we also have a Mom's Support Group that meets once a week after school. A co-worker and I bring them together to share stories, advice and support.

This picture is from one of our group meetings that was a baby shower with items donated by school staff. It was so fun to watch some of the young mothers guide the soon-to-be-mothers around the different things they might need.

I've never had a baby and I've never been pregnant, but armed What To Expect When You're Expecting, stories from friends, birthing videos and some experience as an adopted aunt, I've tried to make myself useful.

I have so much respect for these girls and for the love that they have for their babies. Their lives are hard and stressful: most of them have the support of their parents (except one girl who lives completely on her own), but the baby daddies are either absent or useless. They negotiate all these relationships and responsibilities while trying to graduate from high school. 

For Mother's Day, we gave them each a flower and a note of appreciation - the only acknowledgement they received. Their lives are rarely celebrated. Yet as teen moms they carry not only the daunting consequences of past decisions, but also the hope and promise of new life in the next generation.  

5 Book of Mormon Scriptures That Have Changed My Life

Modified from a Sacrament Meeting talk given 4/22/2012


Of all the things I like about being Mormon, The Book of Mormon is the thing that I love the most. Of all the different elements of the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is my favorite.

When I was a kid, I filled my first copy of The Book of Mormon - a vinyl one that I got when I was baptized at age 8 - with a bunch of see-through scripture stickers. When I was a teenager, I decided that those were no longer cool, and I tried to rip them off, but they took off some of the type and left sticky goo on the pages. I loved that copy anyway and covered the pages and margins with markings and notes during high school. It was the first copy that I read on my own all the way through.

Another favorite copy of The Book of Mormon was the Portuguese one that I used on my mission. It was while studying that copy that I fell in love with being a missionary, with Portuguese, with Brazil, and with so many Brazilians whom I taught and worked with. Even though the translation may be exact, somehow reading the Book of Mormon in another language felt like discovering a new book.

A tiny red paperback copy of The Book of Mormon (see photo above) is what got me through my 3 years in New York City. Because it was light and easy to carry, I could always keep it in my purse, and I read it on the subway every morning on my way to work. I had some special spiritual moments with that book on crowded subway cars.

There are five scriptures from The Book of Mormon that have especially “changed my life.” I use the phrase loosely to mean scriptures that have shaped the way that I think about myself, God and the world.

1. Alma 7:12

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

What I love most about this verse is the word “succor.” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a current apostle, taught that “succor is often used in the scriptures to describe Christ’s care for and attention to us. It means literally to run to. What a magnificent way to describe the Savior’s urgent effort on our behalf. Even as he calls us to come to him and to follow him, he is unfailingly running to help us.”

The image of the Savior running to comfort me is so striking and beautiful. It helps me to understand that the Atonement is not only about repentance and forgiveness, but also about receiving peace, comfort and healing. These words empower me to want to turn to Christ when I need help because I know that He is already “turned” - and running - towards me.

2. 1 Nephi 7:17

But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.

Something Elder David A. Bednar, another apostle, taught helped me to appreciate this verse:

Do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? “Please get me out of this mess NOW!” It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray to have his circumstances changed. Rather, he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And I believe he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew, understood, and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement.

           

I do not think the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then “in the strength of the Lord” worked and twisted and tugged on the cords, and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands.

           

This verse has completely changed how I deal with difficult circumstances in my life. When I feel like praying for something to be magically changed or taken away, I try instead to pray for the courage and strength to deal with it. I especially love Elder Bednar’s words “worked and twisted and tugged.” Having God’s assistance with our trials does not mean that they will be easy or devoid of work. When I want something to simply be removed, I remember Nephi, and I approach the Lord differently.

3. Helaman 10:4

Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments.

The last sentence encapsulates the type of person I want to be: someone who doesn’t seek her own life, but seeks to do will of the Lord and to keep His commandments. Nephi has set a great example of someone who isn’t concerned about himself. He is the opposite of self-absorbed, self-centered and selfish. He lived the great Christian paradox: he found his life by losing it.

Sometimes when I feel myself start to get absorbed into my own concerns and issues, I try to conjure up this verse and switch my focus to the Lord and to His will and to what He wants me to do. I try to focus on being more obedient. Using Nephi’s example to realign my priorities always helps me to feel calm and centered.

4. Alma 34:18-27

Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.

Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.

Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks.

Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.

Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.

Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness.

Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.

Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase.

But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.

Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

Not only are these verses beautifully poetic, but they teach me so much about prayer. God wants me to pray and consult with Him about all of the details of my life. I have been known to get annoyed with stories about people who pray to find their car keys and they magically appear. That’s nice, I want to say, but what about the person who prays for the healing of their sick child and then the child dies? What about the person who prays for an addiction to go away and they just can’t beat it? Given what is going on in the world, does He really care about you being late for work because you can’t find your keys?  

I have come to believe that the answer is yes. I have undeniably felt His hand in some of the minutiae of my everyday life - keys and wallets included - and I think that He shows us His hand in the little things to remind us that He is also in charge of the big things. Of course He is super cognizant of the dying child! Of course He is aware of the addict’s agony! As I consult with Him over my “flocks” and my “fields,” I am more aware of His hand over all aspects of my life.

5. 1 Nephi 11:17 and Mosiah 4:9

And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

A lot of things in life don’t make sense. Some things in the Church don’t make sense. But to me, these verses define faith: I can be OK if not everything makes sense to me. I don’t have to intellectually grasp all aspects of life and of the Church. I am grateful that I can let go and turn my trust and my ignorance over to a higher power. I am OK with not knowing because I do know God’s love.

Conclusion

Isn’t this a beautiful collection of truths?! I like to think that if I were alone on a deserted island with nothing but The Book of Mormon - no church services, no temple worship, no hymns - my spiritual health would remain intact because of the way this book, all on its own, helps me to connect with God. It teaches me how to turn to Him for comfort, how to deal with challenges, how to become a better person, how to pray to Him and how to have faith in Him. This book has shaped, defined and blessed my life. I love it and I know that it is true.