Baby Picture Therapy Part IV

Final baby picture epiphany: I am lovable. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a theoretical way - the way everyone is lovable.

Once, a therapist put an empty chair in front of me and told me to visualize my six-year-old self. As soon as I could "see" her, I started to cry. I felt overwhelming love for that little girl; I could feel her worth.

That feeling was accompanied by the realization that, as a child, she had done absolutely nothing to merit love. She had not dated anyone or won any auditions or memorized the states in alphabetical order or earned her Young Womanhood medallion. She was just a regular kid who deserved to be loved because she was inherently good.

Then I thought of all the mean things people would say and do to her. But what hurt the most was realizing that I was the meanest of them all. I told her how sorry I was for all the lies I fed her, for the years when I called her fat and ugly, for the times I berated her for failing. It was a difficult conversation.

In the past year, I have fallen in love with a lot of babies. Thank you Libby and Sarah, Thorvald and Astrid, Schroeder, Gracie, Ramona and Lyle for reminding me once again that you don't have to do anything to be lovable. I love you because you are.

While I had that experience in therapy years ago, my little collection of baby pictures reminds me of that moment. They make me want to treat this little girl well - to encourage her, to cheer her on, to tell her nice things, to give her the best, to help her live up to her potential.

Everyone deserves that.